Making it Through the First Year of Parenthood

A Guide to Making it Through the First Year of Parenthood

Thursday, December 28, 2017

Parenthood brings with it an enormous amount of change and growth. There are plenty of people, books and articles that will provide you with information to help you make your way through the stages, but the most important thing to remember is that this is your journey. By all means educate yourself, read what you can, talk to people, ask for advice, but in the end trust in your own intuition.

Realise Your Baby Isn’t Stock Standard

A lot of new parents read through a library’s worth of parenting books and articles, trying to make sure they are prepared for everything. Then they get anxious or upset when their baby behaves differently to how the ‘average’ baby should behave, or grow, or develop. There is no such thing as average, everything written on children is subjective in its own way and deals with the author’s personal experiences and knowledge.

Your baby is her own person and will do what she does in her own time, and won’t necessarily behave like the books say. Just like everyone, your baby is perfect and imperfect in her own way and you and your partner are the only experts on her. So the best thing you can do is listen to your own intuition. Put down the literature and interact and just be with your child. Trust yourself and follow your instincts.

Accept Advice Gracefully

Following on from trusting your own intuition, the sooner you learn to accept advice gracefully and with a grain of salt, the better. Beginning from the nurses at the hospital that will give you various instructions on proper breastfeeding techniques and requirements. A lot of mothers can become anxious and stressed, feeling like they are not capable mothers if they have trouble breastfeeding. It can be difficult and sometimes it just doesn’t work.

Luckily, these days, formula can act as a substitute. So, do your best and work with your baby to try and breastfeed, but if it’s not working out, don’t let anyone make you feel bad about that. Along the way you will discover that people love to weigh in on child rearing. Everyone has their own experience of it and likes to think they know best. Most of this advice is well-intended but most of it is also unwelcome and unnecessary. Try not to get defensive, but stand up for yourself and your own beliefs.

Start Stretching

This is for both parents. Start doing yoga or pilates or some form of daily stretching routine. It’s easy to twist the wrong way or strain your back from carrying your baby long distances in an awkward position. Getting a good quality pram or baby carrier will go a long way in preserving your back, but you are still going to be lifting your baby constantly.

Daily stretching will help you avoid injuries and is also a great way to calm your mind and take five minutes out of the day to breath and connect with yourself. These short snippets of ‘me’ time will become more and more valuable, so begin incorporating them into your daily routine now so that they become part of your life.

Make Time For Date Nights

Your relationship with your partner is going to change. Your alone time together will all but disappear unless you take steps to making time for each other. If you have parents living in the same city, then ask them if you can go to dinner once a week or fortnight. This way you can connect as two adults, rather than just acting as parents constantly. A little time will go a long way in maintaining the richness of your relationship.

Enjoy the journey. Becoming a new parent can be stressful but it will also be the most amazing experience of your life. Saviour the time you have with your baby because children grow up quickly!

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